I’ve been talking to groups and individuals lately about power struggles and how the use of force is different from the use of influence. Power struggles – those tug-of-wars over who is right and who is the boss – are universal. You’ve probably experienced them with your children, spouse, manager, co-workers, and your own parents. Recall the amount of energy you are willing to spend proving how right you are! Ever notice that with all of that energy, nothing ever gets done? Nothing is accomplished in a power struggle and no one wins.
Through continual power struggles, a child learns that he can feel powerful when he resists, powerful when he proves that others are not the boss of him, and powerful because mom goes ballistic. The truth is we want our child to learn to feel powerful through cooperation, powerful through negotiation, powerful through helpfulness, and powerful through concern for others. Children who feel powerful in those positive ways grow into adults who are empowered. They then raise children who are empowered. When your child feels powerful, he will not power struggle. He has other options. When you feel powerful, you will not over-power your child. You have other options.
Your young children are not going to end the power struggles. It is up to you. There may not be a model for you to visualize when you decide to parent in a different way. That was how it was for me. I had no clue how to handle resistance without force. Taking the Redirecting Children’s Behavior™ course was the kick-start for my journey. It was in the RCB course that I learned how to recognize power struggles, how to get out of them and how to prevent them. The workshop on power struggles is still my favorite after ten years of teaching RCB because every day I see the difference that using that information has made in my family.
If you are experiencing power struggles at home, I invite you to take Redirecting Children’s Behavior™. You will become more influential and more peaceful. It will make a difference in your life, your family life and the next generation.
To find information on courses in south Florida, click here. To find courses across the country, click here.