Many thanks to Parkland Life Magazine for allowing us to reprint this article that I wrote for their June 2013 issue.
My
dad taught me things about life when he wasn’t even looking. He wasn’t consciously teaching. He was simply being who he was, going about
his day. He didn’t know that I was
looking and learning. I had no idea of
the breadth and depth of what I learned from my dad until I became an
adult. His teachings filled my life when
I became a parent.
Some
of his best lessons took place when he was doing his favorite things, like
driving the boat down the Crystal River, cooking his special breakfast for the
family or lying in bed on a Sunday morning reading the paper. At those times, he had a focused yet pleased
look on his face, like everything had come together in that moment and was
exactly as it was supposed to be. Those
were some of my favorite memories of my dad as well as my earliest exposures to
what Eckhart Tolle talks about in the Power of Now. Daddy had no idea he was teaching me about
flow and being present. He thought he
was just cooking breakfast and watching the water in front of the bow.
My
colleague Jane Sisoian of Positive Solutions for Children and Families [www.positivesolutionsinfo.com] has
had similar experiences. Her favorite
memories of her father are when he would take her fishing. He would help her put the live worms on the
fish hook and they would patiently wait for a fish to come along and bite. Jane said, “His patience, kindness and
positive attitude are the qualities he had that made him so special. It is those qualities that have helped me in
my adult years to be a better mom and teacher.”
Jane’s own patience, kindness and positive attitude have influenced the
children in her third grade classroom, her own children and the adults who
participate in her Redirecting Children’s Behavior™ course. I would go so far as to say that her dad even
influenced the name of her company!
The
biggest lesson from my dad was about responsibility. He never talked with me about being
responsible. He demonstrated it
daily. He finished everything that he
started. He always happily assisted
others. He took pleasure in doing a good
job, and he appreciated that quality in those around him. He persevered. He always went the extra mile and gave 110
percent. That was who he was.
In
All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, Robert Fulghum
wrote about the people in our lives who “teach us, bless us, encourage us,
support us, uplift us in the daily-ness of life.” We don’t tell these people about their
influence. They never know. And we are that person to the people in our
own lives, too. Fulghum said, “There are
those who depend on us, watch us, learn from us, take from us. And we never know. Don’t sell yourself short. You may never have proof of your importance,
but you are more important than you think.”
On
this Father’s Day – and every day – I am grateful for the lessons my dad taught
me when he wasn’t even looking. Right
now, dads everywhere continue this tradition, and their children are watching
and learning. In those moments –
especially those filled with the wonderful, stillness of being – dads are
teaching precious life lessons. My wish
for you, dads, on this Father’s Day, is to experience at least a glimpse of how
valuable and influential you are just by being who you are. There is so much going on when you aren’t
even looking!
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