Whole Hearted Parenting

Raising Well Balanced Children: 

How to Best Support Their Journey

By Susie Walton

 

Often times when given advice as to what to do when parenting, we're left wondering, but HOW do I do this...or that?  It seems as though what may come easily to one parent, may not come so easily to another parent.  This article will be giving some suggestions on (HOW) with   Heartfelt Optimum Ways one can begin to implement some parenting skills to expand their parenting toolbox!  Or one can simply think of it like adding recipes to their existing recipe box.

 

Let's start with the most reliable predictors of adult success; according to Daniel Goleman, PhD., the most reliable predictors of adult success are not grades in high school or even a collegiate pedigree, but rather these six qualities of emotional intelligence:

1. Empathy
2. Optimism
3. Flexibility
4. Good sense of humor
5. The capacity to function as a team player
6. The ability to respond to setbacks

Before I go through each one, it's important to note that it will be easier for your kids to attain these if the parents model them:

 

Empathy

• Understand before being understood
• Be Heartfelt ~ see through your heart
• Acknowledge ~ empathy creates connection

Optimism:

• Celebrate Mistakes ~Mistakes are wonderful opportunities to learn
• Gratitude feast: each person shares what they are grateful for
• Look for the gift ~ the silver lining

Flexibility:

• Go with the flow
• Keep things simple
• Self Care ~ taking care of yourself helps you become a better parent

A Good Sense of Humor: 

• Have fun
• Keep it light
• Don't take yourself too seriously

Capacity to Function as a Team Player:

• Discover each family members strength 
• Encouragement feast ~ each person shares what they love about each person
• Mind Trust ~ when you have a problem with a family member you go to the person

Ability to Respond to Setbacks: 

• Allow Children to Have Their Feelings
• Natural Consequences ~ If We Allow A Child To Experience The Consequence Of His Acts, We Provide An Honest And Real Learning Situation
• Self Reliance

Allowing your children to have their feelings sets the foundation for their self-reliance!!  Why?   Because as children go through life, their ability to respond to setbacks is primarily based on their ability to move themselves through all of their feelings.  When a child can move themselves from one feeling to another, they are building a very rich and strong internal guidance system.  This guidance system is what guides them to move closer to or away from someone or something.  It is what guides them into or out of situations that are healthy or unhealthy and when in an unhealthy situation (or setback) to move themselves through it.  Over time, and with enough experience, their trust in their command of their feelings develops self-confidence!  This process is done primarily through Natural Consequences...so let those consequences (when in good reason) play out.  This requires the parent to be aware of his/her feelings in order not to mix their own emotions into the child's process.  Parent's often times want to make it better or take care of the child (hoping that their child doesn't have to experience sadness, disappointment, anger, hurt, etc.) and the result is a robbing of their children's rich opportunities to build their own emotional muscles!!!